DeathNote or a bad bromance

Yea its really good.

…

Okay fine i’ll do a real review…

The truth of Deathnote is that its very difficult to review, because anything i write is just a little pointless, as wasting time explaining why deathnote is a spectacular 400 foot dimond covered gold statue of beauty and awe (i promised myself i would not mention a certain persons hair  because i’m starting to freak myself with it),  would be like explaining why you shouldn’t drink acid.

English: Book from Death Note Español: El cuaderno Death Note de la serie homónima. Deutsch: Das Buch aus Death Note Français : Cahier venant de “Death Note” (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

It’s a good series just watch it, why should i have to explain that. It succeeds in so many points, just watch the show then we can spend time being best friends  because everyone loves this anime.

Where to begin, this is a gateway show its not so japanese that it puts off western viewers whilst not pandering to the core of mainstream anime vievers on this side of the planet.

Not that i’m mentioning any names *winks knowingly at naruto*

This is the perfect gate way anime for people interested in joining the culture, it is English enough for newcomers and casual anime fans to understand, yet also Japanese enough to satisfy to hard core otakus in the audience. Its a relatively short show and as such does not take up much time getting through, and as it is already an incredibly popular show there is no lack of discussion to be had about the show with friends.

The voice acting and audio is perfect, Brad Swailie bringing the best of his talent to portray Light Yagami, able to elegantly switch between the school boy, nervous as a nerd next to a girl and a psychopathic killer like nine months dracula and the count of monty cristo had a romantic weekend together. The pitch perfect choir adds the best emotion to each scene, some times nail-biting tension like something Hitchcock thought of when he was reading silence of the lambs, and at times cheap-as-chips cheerful like something made by Nintendo (when there not pretending they are still an legit gaming platform that is).

The plot concerns the mind games between two child prodigies the cool mysterious detective “L” and the calm seductive Light Yagami, Japanese schoolboys who look sexy and are hyper intelligent how very original, he says with voice like sarcastic marmite, oh but deathnote knows when i’m being factious for comic effect. The deathnote in question refers to a note that causes death, wow kind of a convoluted title. The plot is strange in that its undoubtedly complicated and yet easy enough to follow with out being left in the dark, however there is just enough mystery and plot turns for the audience to guauff their drinks and yell”OH DAMN!”

The visuals are incredibly crisp an clean dark and shifting colours that add an air of mystery as light descover more about the deathnote and L discovers more about the killer Kira. The animation is simple in that there is nothing overly complicated, as there are no fights what do you expect, however i feel like the money that would be spent on animating the “inconcivable overly choriagraphed fight” department was dropped into the “make everything bloody sweet” department. The movments might be simple but they are superbly well made effort is made to give L a jaunty awkward movment from the was he walks to the way he curls his toes, and Light certainly moves like the character he is, in public he is a simple efficient schoolboy, but when alone he move in a more purposeful overly dramatic gesture like the killer he is.

The final word is that its a superb series a masterpiece in visuals and audio, the plot is twisting and absorbing like an octopus made of porridge.  Deathnote it’s killer… (oh god away for three months and thats how i end the review)

Space Marine or 40,000 Marines in SPACE

I know this is over a year late but i’ve decided to review the game Space Marine. Now i liked this game and felt like reliving the missions over and over again, as it was one of the most satisfying games made in all of human creation.   I may just be saying that from nostalgia though, i’ll just go play it again… *2 days later*

Yep its still bloody brilliant.

Having played this game multiple times i believe that the sentence that you just read sums up every aspect of the game:

• Story-bloody brilliant
• Combat-bloody brilliant
• Graphics-bloody and brilliant

The plot is as follows: you are captain Titus, this planet is being attacked by orcs, heres a gun, heres a chainsword, don’t stop untill you have made an international “orc burger” fast food chain.

Warhammer 40,000: Space Marine (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The environments are spectacular and grand, and unlike the golden giled cage that is the maps in COD they are not just good looking paintings to distract from the endless monotany of liniar chest high walls. All the maps are playable and awe inspiring.

The charectors are interesting and sutely unique, whilst being grounded yet over the top, allowing for lots of witty dialouge between the space marines, as well as signs of charector relationships. And befor i forget, when i say “witty” i mean actualy witty and not the “its a reference” americanised witty.

The gameplay is intuative and simple while not being boring. Every moment of combat is more fun than any mortal has a right to have. The missions are neatly split with a few turret and jet pack sections, which add to gameplay like spiking a glass of whisky with water from the fountain of youth. Every instance is well crafted, using weapons that chew through orcs as though they were bits of shouty green paper, allowing for body counts comparable to a robot tiger on a planet inhabited by slow bunny rabbits.

All of the death-sythes that you weiled are weighty and satisfying, making all your muscles pules with manliness whenever you see the next legion of green-skinned sacks of potential for death screeming towards you. And if the idea of using a melee weapon that would make Kratos giggle with glee, and a radioactive batman launcher to almost psychotically carve you way through 12 planets worth of so much metaphorical beef, does not appeal to you, then you good sir are a ponce.

The original non-regenerating health/regenerating shield mechanic spices up combat, making moments truly tense and difficult.
And while i’m on the subject of being difficult, the dificulty curve of this game is like running at the speed of sound into a titanium wall.
Oddly this is in a manner unexpected, usualy difficulty in games, for example deamon souls, comes from being a twig brushing leaves agenst a star powered god-dragon that spits exploding vials of anthrax.

However in space marines you play as an Ultramarine, an unstoppable living weapon that has the kill potential of a bomb that increases in power everytime it rains in Britain. So you would not expect the game to be at all challenging, like playing as the phyisical incarnation of death battling the deathly ill.

Wait a dam blasted minute i’m “the anime man” i should at least mention anime once, so ehem, the difficulty of the game is like yamcha from DBZ or Shinji from Evangalion trying to fight a stick insect.

Okay now thats done, alow me to continue.

As i said in theory the game should be as easy as breathing, yet somehow the game truly is difficult, and i have deduced why, even if you play as “super-saiyan gears 2 nine tails death god” eventualy you must stop to clean the orc guts from your chainsaw, you will very easily get swarmed and surrounded by foes of ever increasing difficulty.

Its not that indavidual enimies are tough just that when there are so many they make the population of russia india and china combined look like brumley, you are crushed beneath their corpses more than they actually hit you.

Now that i have sufficiently typed my fingers to stumps, lets talk about multiplayer! YAY

Co-op should be self-explanitory, more orcs, more marines, more fun

However the competitive is  unique in that being late won’t get you killed. Allow me to explain, in most multiplayer games, for example Battlefield, you buy the game 3 months down the line going into a server match everyone has a batman launcher 5000 and you have a broken nail, trying to win will lead to you leaving with a severely spanked bum, so will playing space marine but everyone leaves with a painful arse. As all the gun choices are the same, and the matches in any maps will bend you backward and beat you with lead pipes.

Now the game has flaws and not saying them would make me less a reviewer and more a lady of the night.

So yea the multiplayer lags a bit and the hand to hand combat doesn’t work agents other marines, and the story assumes at least a basic knowledge of the 40k universe.

But you know what i don’t care, the game has enough redeeming features to fill the Marianna trench,

And as a final word, once an orc shouted “again stab me again” so i shot him, a feat so funny i wasted this last paragraph on it.

School Days or Don’t be a twat, you twat!

School Days is a difficult one, the entire show makes me want to repurpose the writers skull as a tea cup, that was until the last episode where *spoiler warning* the unlikable twat that is the main character, with the help of the support character and a big knife, is converted from a twat, to a bloody stump that looks like a guy who used to be a twat.

The show is based around the relationships a twat has with several Japanese school girls, how very original if it wasn’t for every harem EVER. The story falls at the first, when you realise that all the age appropriate girls are in love with a lying cheating sleazy scumbag who is also a twat. So negative a million points on realism.

Although i’m not really one to talk about relationships, so let me check.

CliffsNotes for Romeo and Juliet (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Hey Seb is this how relationships work?

No…

Okay thanks 🙂

So yeah i’m right, the female leads allow themselves to be manipulated and mistreated, by Count Von Twatinstine yet try to convince  the audience that its all in the purpose of love, that didn’t work with Romeo and Juliet and it doesn’t work here.

Yet despite the Twat lead, the stupid support, the forgettable sound track and art design that is to being interesting what a te-rex is to stacking shelves, i have to give the show credit for killing Mr. M Twat (where M stands for More unlikable than a puppy killing strand of the Ebola virus) in a manner more satisfying than can be safely expressed.

So, as the leper said to the urinal wheres the point?

Simple, watch the last episode and none of the others, there rubbish.

And as a final word, the message of the show is this; If you don’t want to be brutally killed then Don’t be a twat, you twat!